daaaaay tripper

I think it’s safe to say I’m “tripping” on hydrocodone right now. I took two instead of one tonight, partly in frustration of my tooth-hole pain (extraction of wisdom teeth, hence the availability of hydrocodone), partly from wanting to be able to go to sleep earlier, and party from wanting to see what it would feel like to actually be stoned on it. It feels pretty good. Relaxing, drowsy-ing, a tiny bit dizzying. I do feel euphoric though, a bit, which is nice. I had kind of a bummer session this afternoon when it hit me that Josh would be gone for 4 days. Still trying to figure out if I should go down there to Boise on Thursday after work since I have Friday off.

I’ve only been working for a few days at MV and I’ve already experienced incredible frustration that accompanies a 40 hr/wk job. I think it may actually be worse since I don’t necessarily have weekends off, and those are the times when I would want to come to Boise.

I think summer will be a time of character-building for me in many, many ways. “Having” to be outside all the time will be a big change for me, and a good one. My exercise habits and eating habits will change, and hopefully become more stable. (For example, hiking to the top of the butte each day is a great goal.) I’m going to reduce my screen/internet time vastly, I can already tell, and learn some songs on the guitar for Open Mic nights at the K Club. And I’m going to write in my journal. I ‘ve noticed a trend with journaling…when I do it, my life is consistently better. Not sure if it’s a correlation or actually cause/effect, but there’s some sort of relationship, so I will do it.

I was reading Dove Rainbow’s travel blog earlier tonight and her entry was about getting stuck on a section of highway on her way to a hut while hitchhiking in New Zealand. She was frustrated about not getting picked up, but changed her attitude and made her day so much better instantaneously. It’s incredibly applicable to my Stanley situation; I’m frustrated at I don’t know what.. (not having a busy social calendar?) but I need to realize that life is actually really good right now. I’m with a really awesome guy who treats me well. We live together in a cozy apartment with pretty cheap rent within walking distance to work (up a gorgeous little trail). We’re in a mountain playground where people pay really good money to experience for a weekend what we get to experience every day. That air outside is clean and breathable, and there’s grass and wildlife and mountains. Anyone should be appy in this situation, and I’ve decided that I’m going to be. Starting NOW. (might also be the hydrocodone)